Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thursday is Ladies Day

WooHoo! Ladies Day. Truth be told, you don't really have to be a "lady", just a female. Who knew that gun ranges offered free ladies days? I didn't. I never thought I'd have to. I am gun phobic. I was victimized in a rather cruel and unusual way many years ago, and since then the mere touch of gun metal makes me break out in a sweat. I've gotten used to it, and because I'm a caregiver by nature, the need to know how to shoot things was never an issue, until now. We have a stalker. He's really more of a punk ass, but he's dangerous, has a violent history, and he has been nice enough to add my entire family to his dance card. Woohoo, I'm a lucky girl. I've become rather well acquainted with our local police dept. Yay. After having been a law enforcement wife for 10 + years, I am REALLY excited about this. But...I digress. This evening a very nice Sargeant with our local PD arrived at our chateau. After banging loudly on the door, and wading through the barking dogapalooza that is my house, I met him on the walkway. We had a lovely chat and he then asked me if I can shoot. Shoot? Pool? Heroin? Hoops? Hmmm, no, he meant a gun. Weapon, sidearm, revolver, piece. No. Laurie, of course, is an expert marksman. He said unless she weighs 8 pounds and I want to carry her everywhere with me, that wouldn't be sufficient. He said it again ~ learn to shoot, get a gun, use it. Holy shit. This is the third time in less than a month that I've had someone say that to me. Use it. Point it and pull the trigger. Make it count. My dad actually then added the sage advice to find a good therapist to assist me with the PTSD that would certainly be the result of point and shoot. Use it. Make it count. This morning, as Laurie and I exited the garage and walked to the car to go to work we found a note on the hood of our car. It was in a ziplock bag, and it was a threat from our friendly neighborhood stalker, Wesley. It was full of the same bullshit rhetoric we've heard before, but this time the motherfucker FOUND MY HOUSE. Learn to shoot, get a gun, use it, make it count. Sweet mother of God, make it count? After years and years of praying, treating, caring for, worrying about, fearing and fighting guns.....I need to get one. Wow, has my life changed? And here I thought coming out of the closet was the biggest change I'd face. :::sigh::: What a crazy, mixed up world this is. I know that somewhere in all of this chaos and fear and anger there is a valuable lesson to be learned. I'm paying attention. In fact I'm on hyper-alert. I'm in pissed off mama-bear mode. My world has changed. My attention has shifted, my priorities are altered. I heard the nice officer. The policeman, who is my friend. He told me... learn to shoot, get a gun, use it, make it count. I'm going to, I will, I hope I can, I hope it does. The word of the day is strength. Yeah, I've got that.

Monday, May 4, 2009

I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say No

No No No No

Ok, well maybe, if it's what you all want. It's fine with me. I don't really have a preference. I'll leave it up to you. Will it make you happy? Is that what you want? It doesn't matter to me. I'm okay with whatever you decide.

Have any of you heard this before? Said any of this before? I've said them all. Usually with an "I'm sorry" on one side or the other. I am, of course, single-handedly responsible for world hunger, so my frequent apologies should come as no surprise. I blame it on cold cream corn and a 6 year old appetite for vegetables, but it was my cream corn, so yes, it's my fault.

Having said that, I am a people pleaser. I like to make, and keep people happy. I'll gladly change my mind about almost anything, if it will make Laurie, or Kathryn, or anyone happy. I'll change my choice of take out for dinner, my choice of TV show, my time to take a shower or bath. Yep, that waffle person is me. I suck.

My ex-husband was a long-term beneficiary of this flaw. We always vacationed in one of two climates ~ beach or snow. Nowhere else. Since he hated cruising (which I love) it took 8 years for me to persuade him to take a cruise. I wanted to go places like Niagra Falls, Yellowstone, Las Vegas. No beach. No go. I wanted a "traditional mattress" so of course we had a water bed for 6 years. I like prime rib and steak so we ate at seafood restaurants several times a month.

After 26 years of living with my mom, she came to live with us/me for the next 20 years. I wanted to go away to college, and in fact was accepted to Tennessee Technical University, but my mom and grandmother were so distressed by my leaving, that I stayed home and went to community college.

Now I find myself in a place where I want to scream from the rafters but don't know how. No no no no. It should be so easy. It isn't. We have a young lady and her infant daughter living with us. Back in February she was pushed by her then boyfriend, and had no where to go. Since Kathryn had known her since 6th grade, she asked if she could stay here. Laurie and I had a big long conversation about this. We aren't equipped to care for an infant. We both work, we have 1 car, we have 2 teenagers in school. We agreed that this was a safe, and viable temporary solution. It's hard enough raising our own kids. Now we have a 19 year old who is neither mine or Laurie's, and her daughter. So, how exactly do the mom's house mom's rules settle with her? She's 19. Her mom works for the same City we do. But she's out of the picture for the most part. It's a convoluted situation, but we have a reputation for taking in strays and falling into this web.

The confusion, and frustration now comes with the "former" boyfriend and his loudmouth, punk ass threats. He continues to threaten my whole family, and his former girlfriend and baby. The police have been to my office, and my home several times in the past few weeks. It's like living in a minefield. It's the same place you've always been, but you know that one wrong turn could blow you out of the water. We have worked so very hard to keep our own kids away from the system, and having been married to law enforcement officers, we'd like to avoid the police all together.

So that's my dilemma. I recently read that a good guest is one who makes you feel at home in your house. Man, I haven't had one of those in years. I don't have a solution. I feel like we got played a little by our kids, just like we did once before with a houseguest from hell. They conspired to make this happen, and it has. Now what? no no no. It should be so easy.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Pearls before H1N1

Our news media, be it TV, newspaper, magazine...all outlets relaying alleged "news" should be ashamed of themselves. This media-induced H1N1 panic is ridiculous. 10s of thousands of people, in the United States alone, die from influenza every year. 10s of thousands people!. 1 person, who was brought across the border for treatment of H1N1 has died. 1. People are wearing masks, bathing in GermX, staying out of crowds, cancelling travel plans, and basically acting like the sky is falling. All of a sudden people are washing their hands, covering their mouths when they sneeze or cough, and staying home from work if they have a fever or cough. Wow. If people took these basic precautions ALL the time, we'd have fewer outbreaks of the traditional flu. I've told my co-workers I'm more concerned about getting Tuberculosis from the person behind me at Publix than I am of H1N1. :::sigh:::
The county I live in has distinction of having the "first confirmed case of H1N1" in the whole state. Yep. An elementary school student is the first case. The school is closed all next week, and those students with symptoms, or at risk due to other medical conditions, are receiving TamiFlu as a preventive measure. Smart stuff this plan. Break the cycle of exposure, treat proactively, and go on with life. It's the flu folks. It's a nasty flu, but it really is just the flu.
Did you read that Egypt has called for ALL pigs in the country to be killed? Egypt has no confirmed, or even suspected cases of N1H1, and muslims don't eat pork....why do they even have pigs? People who stopped eating chicken and turkey after Bird Flu, and beef after mad cow are now adding pork to their list. They'll all be vegan before too much longer. My daughter has said "what's next? The monarch butterfly flu?"
Actually it will be Eastern Equine Encephalitis. Or maybe Venezuelan Equine Encephalitis ~ especially since the Federal Gov't is missing 3 vials from one of our allegedly secure infectious disease labs. Read this: http://http//
So, maybe we should add horses to the list of soon-to-be endangered animals. It's almost encephalitis watch and see.
Yes, our news media has much to be proud of. They've created a state of fear where none existed. They have people afraid of leaving the house for fear of contracting or transmitting this fatal flu. In this economy, and after 8 years of a Bush State of Fear, this is wrong. At least Washington isn't supporting the frenzy. (Okay, so Joe Biden might have been a little more tactful when telling his family not to take the train, lol) So far, Congress is still in session, sporting events are still scheduled, work is still work. Some things, at least, seem to have risen above the fray. Now, if any of those Washington people begin to oink, or their curly tails show, we may need to revisit the congress thing...but politicians have been swine for years. ;o)
So, to wrap things up, here's the mantra for the next few weeks: "wash your hands, try not to touch your face, don't let anyone use your phone." Just repeat it, and follow it, and you should be fine.
And for your reading pleasure, while your home hiding from H1N1, read Michael Crichton's State of Fear. It's one of the most frightening books I've ever read.
The word of the day is: hysteria