This is a post seeking opinion and suggestion. As you know, I work for our local city government. In May I’ll
celebrate acknowledge my 5th anniversary here. I have a good job that I enjoy, and believe I do well. I work with people who can make me laugh ‘til I cry. So, why am I miserable? Why are Laurie and I exploring other jobs in far away places? I actually told Laurie last night that if wherever we’re looking has a McDonald’s I’ll be ok with “do you want fries with that?” I’m willing to work retail, cleaning, babysitting. I just don’t want to work for a business that’s in the paper everyday.
I know that to the outside eye this might seem like much ado about nothing, but it isn’t. Those 2 articles are only a piece of the constant flow of insulting, hate-mongering bullshit coming from our mayor. He’s been in office since November, and everyday since I feel the guillotine over my neck. He would like nothing better than to see an exodus from the city payroll, and then blame those who leave for creating the lapses in service that would arise. He is blaming us without any knowledge of who we are or what we do. And then he’ll blame us for leaving. I cannot describe the constant turmoil, bitterness, anger and almost-hate that I have felt everyday since he took office. Those of you who know me, know that I try not to stay mired in misery….but I cannot seem to shake this. I haven’t been this unhappy in a job since the weeks before Lisa Cramer (a c*** if ever there was one) fired us. I feel like my city employee status is sucking the joy, and the life, out of everything. It’s a feeling that doesn’t seem to go away. This is such a city-wide divisive issue, that even when out shopping or dining, you can hear a snippet of conversation about it.
Maybe, if we were economically stable, if we weren’t living paycheck-to-paycheck, it wouldn’t bother me so much. But we aren’t. We’re struggling more now than ever before. Everything costs more, and we’ve had more than a few economic speed bumps in the past year and a half. Trying to get back on track is difficult enough without being told every single day that you are overpaid and lazy.
Laurie’s job has minimal direct customer contact. Mine faces the public all day, everyday. Phone calls, face-to-face, email, it doesn’t matter. My co-workers and I hear it at least once a day….”you f^%$(*) people” or a variation on the theme. These angry citizens curse us, our children, our lives. They spew hatred filled vitriol without a second thought. They make it personal. They start out cussing the city and end up cursing us. It makes for a long day. Our stress levels are at “ORANGE” meaning you never get a restful minute. I find myself bracing before I answer the phone, or approach the counter. We even get yelled at sitting at our lunch table outside the office. Then, if we read the paper, or watch the evening news…there it is again. I am at a breaking point. I’m ready to throw in the towel and leave. I’m ready to face uncertainty and the unknown just to get a minute’s peace.So, any ideas on where to go? Do we stay in Florida because we have friends here? Do we venture west because we’ve always been intrigued? Do we stay here because we know this devil? What to do? Where to go? When to do it?